Yearning
by Reyelene
Summary: Shortly after Deniece recovers from her shoulder wound, she learns that Fidget has not only been spared but was sent to Pentonville Prison for his crimes. Originally a chapter from a fan-fiction called Light of Love, re-written as a short story.


**Originally a chapter in a fan-fiction called Light of Love (sequel to Don't You Dare Deny Me). When I wrote the sequel, I originally assumed that both stories would be the only Fidget fan-fiction that I would ever write. After The Fidget Connections was created and the family tree of Fidget expanded, I re-wrote Don't You Dare Deny Me and kept it open-ended and realized it was better that way. I also didn't want to throw away Light of Love entirely; I still liked some of the chapters I wrote in spite of its lack of maturity. What you're reading is a short story of Deniece's visit with Fidget in Pentonville Prison, told in first person. Fidget belongs to Great Mouse Detective, Deniece and all other characters belong to me.**

It has been two weeks since my mishap with Ratigan's mice. I was feeling better. At least I was able to walk about a long time without getting dizzy. My shoulder still hurt when I attempted to fly, but I learned to work through the pain. I was a strong woman. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but Father Richards and Constable Smith visited me while I was on bed-rest. They said I had talked in my sleep, that I was mentioning ... his name. Father Richards informed me that he and Sister Richards were present at Fidget's trial. He would've been sentenced to Newgate to be hanged; Father Richards managed to convince them otherwise in acknowledgement of Fidget's deed to me. The defense used was this:

"I have viewed the world and have seen many bats like him. Fidget's kind suffer from oppression every day, receive a very limited education, and are left with no other choice but to live a life of crime. Fidget was merely a victim of circumstance, left with no sense of direction. Yet his recent actions in confessing his crimes to Sister Ingrid and I and rescuing the life of a young woman demonstrates that he is truly sorry for his crimes, his guilt being punishment enough. Being sentenced to hanging is not necessary."

While this kind of defense did not sit well with the common mice folk, the judge surprisingly took Father Richards's speech to heart. Fidget was sentenced to imprisonment at Pentonville Prison instead, where he would be made to pick coir and weave baskets. He would be isolated from anyone, benefiting common mice folk so they wouldn't have to see Fidget and to Fidget himself so he would be shielded from the anger of the outside world and other prisoners. He was also forbidden to speak, especially to other prisoners; this rule applied to all prisoners. Father Richards told me that I begged Fidget's life be spared in my sleep. Although I was relieved that my request was granted, I was anguished by the knowledge of present situation he was in. From the short time I have been with Fidget, I learned something about his character. He was naturally wild, and not just because he lived a life of crime. As strange as it sounded, he actually liked life. He was a grown man, yet he saw the world with the eyes of a child. He was easily impressed with the little things, like my singing and our picnic (although he pretended not to be at first). He didn't talk much, but when he did he liked to tell jokes. And now Fidget was in a prison where he is to remain silent! Not to mention that Pentonville's prisoners were obligated to go to a chapel every day? Fidget hated churches, especially after what happened with his parents! It would be enough to drive him mad; I was told there were cases of insanity that occurred in Pentonville. I could imagine by now that Fidget would've found a hanging at Newgate a more merciful sentence than what he would endure at Pentonville. I spoke my mind with Sister Ingrid about the whole matter. She told me that Father Richards did not intend for Fidget to stay in Pentonville too long. Father Richards actually had a plan to help Fidget to interact with the world. He would bring out the best in the qualities Fidget already possessed while culturing him in the ways of our society. Father Richards gave me very few details and simply insisted that I trust him with his plan.

One night, I lay on my couch with my wings folded and eyes opened. It was raining very hard outside and it was very cold. I wore my foster father's long coat for extra warmth. Inside the coat pocket, I pulled out the cap and striped scarf Fidget gave me before Constable Smith took him away. I couldn't sleep; my mind was too preoccupied. "Are you having trouble sleeping too, cherie?" I whispered to the wall, as if it had a soul. "I just hope it's not too cold in that cell of yours." I thought about Fidget's request as I stroked the cap and scarf with my thumbs. He wanted me to keep them in memory of him, in case he were to be sentenced to death (I had kept my word, they never left my sight). I watched as Constable Smith handcuffed him and he looked back at me with those eyes. Those eyes that were the color of sun in my world of night. Those eyes that dared to look into mine, even though they were filled with shame. Those eyes were filled with tears as he confessed his love for me, that I was the only woman he ever truly loved. And I had learned that I loved him in return, and we held each other. It was as if the full moon descended upon the earth and glowed inside of us. I still loved him. I had not been the same woman since. When I sang at _The Rat Trap_, I was unable to finish a full song because I thought I spotted Fidget sitting at one of the tables. Life and experience had taught me to be a strong, tough woman in spite of anything. I had been alone for a long time and had been used to it. Now I couldn't stop thinking about Fidget, without weeping. I just had to see him again! I had to! I decided that night that I would fly to Pentonville prison and check up on Fidget. Constable Smith advised against; visitors were not allowed. Although I was a law-abiding woman, I was still considered a creature of the night in mousedom society. That gave me the advantage of_ bending_ a few rules.

When I arrived at Pentonville, I was awestruck by the star shape the roofs of the building made. I had no idea how big Pentonville would be! I realized finding Fidget would be a lot tougher than I anticipated. Luckily, I was dressed in black to blend in the shadows. I entered through one of the small square windows in the second roof. The prison was frighteningly huge! I could spot human guards patrolling the grounds. I clung to the ceiling, my hair dripping wet from the terrible rain, as my eyes searched for a hole or a crack (something leading to the mice's cells). My injured shoulder began to ache; I gritted my teeth to ignore the pain. Where could I find a hole? I spotted something moving by the wall labeled 3C. I flew closer and stood within the C engraving to get a better look. It was a mouse prisoner and he was carrying the iron ball of his chain. I watched as he was accompanied by a mouse guard to a crack below. The way to the mice's cells had to be there! Shortly after the two mice disappeared in the crack, I landed on the iron floor and crept inside.

Pentonville's prisons were deathly quiet since prisoners were not allowed to speak or make noise. Nevertheless, my large bat ears could detect even the softest sounds. I heard a lot of snoring from the other side, a sign that it was bedtime for the prisoners. But what was that mouse doing out?

"And don't let me catch you doing that again!" I heard the guard say to the prisoner. The mouse actually spoke in a whisper, but I was able to hear it. "That's the second time you attacked one of our men with that wooden mallet you made here! The next time you'll be transported to Newgate!" So that prisoner attempted to murder one of the mice guards! My heart sank! I only hoped and prayed that Fidget wouldn't try to do anything stupid. Even to a criminal's ideals, he wasn't a rational man. I heard the guard speak again, only this time to another prisoner. "And you with the peg leg! What are you still doing up!"

Peg-leg! That must've been Fidget! I listened intently, waiting for the prisoner to respond.

"I ... can't ... sleep ..."

The prisoner's voice was barely audible, but I recognized it. It was Fidget alright! He sounded exhausted, but had told the guard he couldn't sleep ... and I knew why. Pentonville's daily schedule was structured by mice, so guards assume everyone functioned on waking up at sunrise and falling asleep before midnight. But us bats have a completely different living pattern. Fidget was tired because his circadian rhythm was out-of-sync with Pentonville's ideal demands. But the guards could care less. He was a criminal who owed a debt to mousedom society, that's all they knew.

"Can't sleep, eh? Maybe _this _will put you to sleep!"

This time, the guard's voice was louder and I heard Fidget gasp. What was going on! Then I heard another prisoner complain that _he _was trying to sleep; the guard was _making too much noise_. No more was said after that complaint, the only other sound being a sigh of relief from Fidget. Footsteps followed, I knew the mouse guard was heading in my direction. I rushed out the dark crack and hid back within the engraved C above. I saw the guard come out ... but he did not entirely leave. He sat by the left side of the crack and folded his hands on his fat belly. I hoped that he would change his mind and leave; instead I heard him snore. He was fast asleep.

I emerged from my hiding place and descended on the ground as quietly as I could (a lot of water dripping from my body didn't help). The sleeping guard was a gray-furred mouse with a bushy white mustache and beard which made him look almost canine. I spotted a ring of silver keys on his belt. In my head, I reminded myself that I needed to be very careful or the guard would wake up, then _I _would be thrown in prison too. I took off my black boots so that my footsteps would make less noise. The iron floor was so cold that I felt a shiver from my feet all the way to my head. Now I had to deal with the coldness of my wet body and my feet freezing! I crept uncomfortably toward the sleeping guard. He didn't move a muscle. He snored loudly, a sign to me that he was a heavy sleeper. I knelt by his right side to unbuckle his belt with the stealth of a cat (I feared if I knelt in front of him, I would get him wet). He occasionally rubbed his nose with the back of his hand; I feared that he would wake up soon. I was relieved to see that he continued to sleep. With my right hand, I grabbed the ring of keys tightly and slowly removed it from the unbuckled belt. I fetched my boots with my left hand and made my way through the dark crack.

The prison room was dark as well. It was times like these when being a bat was a blessing. We bats could see pretty well in the dark, unlike mice. The prisoners were all sound asleep. I maintained the silence in my footsteps to keep it that way. I spotted a large pair of ears behind one of the cells. As I drew closer, I began to whisper his name:

"Fidget ..."

The bat's whole body bolted upright; he turned his head frantically. He probably thought he was going mad, hearing voices that didn't exist. How I thought I would lose my voice to the sight of my dearest friend reduced to such a state. Fidget was dressed in a dull brown-gray clothes made of cloth; these were the uniforms of Pentonville's prisoners. A ball and chain was fastened on his sole, skinny ankle. Once I found my voice again, I called his name a second time. "Fidget?"

He jumped again at the sound of his name, just before he finally spotted me. Those sun-colored eyes were filled with a mixture that was both happiness and shame. I stood in front of his cell door to be closer to him. Fidget turned his head away. I knew he was trying to hide the shame from me. It made my heart ache all the more. "Please don't turn away from me, Fidget," I plead.

There was a moment of silence. Then he finally spoke. "Don't come near me," he whispered.

Under normal circumstances, I would've been offended. But I knew too well why he made such a comment. "I know how you feel, _cherie_," I uttered as I searched among the keys to find the one matching the lock. "I feel responsible for all this."

Fidget stared at me in disbelief when he saw that I had keys in my hand. "You are _crazy_, Niecy!" he blurted in a low tone. "What were you t'inkin'!"

"I wanted to see you," I replied. "What else?"

"You need to leave!" Fidget replied through clenched teeth. "You could get yourself into trouble ... and me too!"

"First off, you're _already in trouble_," I argued while maintaining a lower tone in my voice. "Second, you have no right to tell me that _I need to leave_. You know very well I can see through your tough guy act!"

Fidget bared his teeth and pulled on his long ears, a sign to me that my last remark offended him. Regardless, he needed it. I finally found the key for the cell door. The turn of the key made a loud click, but I was still careful enough. I closed the cell door behind me and knelt on the floor beside his hammock. And I couldn't help it. A fresh wave of tears flooded my face as I drew my dearest friend into a loving embrace. "You're alive," I uttered, barely able to speak. "You're alive and you look wonderful."

"You're all wet," Fidget complained. "You're gonna catch a cold."

His last comment made me chuckle. I knew he was happy to see me, despite any act he would put on. I could feel the wholeness within my heart as I pressed my head against his chest. I could also feel his thumbs glide across my wet cheeks.

"I don't know why you came here, Niecy," Fidget whispered. "But ... I appreciate it. I've been here two weeks and it already feels like two years."

"I overheard you talk with that guard," I told him. "What did he try to do to you?"

"Grabbed my collar," Fidget replied, pointing to the collar of his uniform. "He shook me because I wasn't asleep like da others."

I cupped my mouth with my hand. "Are you alright?"

Fidget nodded. "I've had worse, it's not dat bad. How's your shoulder?"

"Still hurts; it's getting better though."

Fidget gently pushed me away and rest his hand on my injured should and gently stroked it. "Just promise me you won't do any more crazy stunts, OK? It's bad enough I have to pay my own debt without gettin' you involved."

That last comment made me laugh. "If you're implying that I would conform to a criminal life, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Takin' dat guard's keys is kinda pushin' it," Fidget pointed out.

"I'm not going to _keep_ them," I insisted. "I plan on returning them before I ... _Ow_!"

My injured shoulder began to throb with pain. I pulled myself from Fidget's grasp to clutch my shoulder with my opposite hand. I breathed heavily to ignore the pain I was feeling. Then it subsided. Fidget held my free hand in both his.

"You need to rest, Niecy," Fidget advised. "You really pushed it da moment you came here."

"I'm much stronger than I look, Fidget," I insisted, somewhat insulted by his comment. "You know better than to underestimate me."

"I'm just sayin' you need to take it easy," Fidget said, both his hands held in a surrendering manner. "Strong bats have dheir weaknesses too."

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. I could never get used to a male giving _me_ advice. _Me_, a woman who has _had _to take care of herself for a long time. But in the current condition I was in, I was in no position to argue. "I promise I will be careful ... for your sake because you're my dearest friend."

"And you are my ... friend," Fidget replied with a smile. "Da best one ... I've ever had."

I rose to my feet. "As one friend to another, I have something important to tell you."

Fidget's ears perked up. "What's dat?"

"You'll be seeing Father Richards soon," I began. "He'll be present at one of your chapel services. He has a plan ... it has to do with your future."

Fidget frowned at me in confusion. Unfortunately, I couldn't clarify anything more as Sister Ingrid did not give me a whole lot of details to go on. "I don't know why your Father Richards came at my trial. I didn't expect him to ... uh ..."

"To what?"

"To ..._ defend_ me," Fidget replied, almost hesitantly. "I don't know whether to t'ank him or be suspicious."

"Believe it or not, Father Richards admires you," I assured him. "He is a worldly mouse, educated in ways not mentioned in school."

"I just hope he's not gonna turn me into a Catholic," Fidget protested, his wings crossed. "Because it ain't gonna happen!"

"Oh, I don't think so," I shook my head. "Most likely to enlighten you."

Fidget chuckled. He was barely literate, so I wasn't sure if he laughed because was unfamiliar with that word. "I've been a pirate for too long. I'm not smart. I don't know if I could ever be ... _enlightened_, or whatever dat word means."

"I think you know a lot more than you give yourself credit for."

Our time was nearly over. I would have to leave before the guard or the prisoners would wake up. Before I departed, I had only one last request for Fidget which required him to lie back on his hammock and close his eyes. As usual, he hesitated upon my orders but I was persistent enough. I knelt by his side with my mouth close to his ear. As softly as I could, I began to sing:

_Take, oh take those lips away_

_That so sweetly were foresworn._

_And those eyes, the break of day,_

_Lights that do mislead the morn._

A smile flickered across Fidget's face. He had always liked my singing. It was the one thing that tamed his wild heart. I saw Fidget's eyelids flutter ... They were getting heavy. I continued:

_But my kisses, bring again,_

_Bring again_

_Seals of love, seals of love,_

_But sealed in vain_

_Sealed in vain_

_Take, oh take those lips away_

_That so sweetly were foresworn._

_And those eyes, the break of day,_

_Lights that do mislead the morn_

_The morn ..._

A snoring sound followed. Fidget was fast asleep, as I had planned. I backed away from him as I watched the rise and fall of his chest. He looked like a young boy, drifting off into that secret world of dreams. Though I could not do much for him, I was happy to know that I gave him some comfort. But soon he will be put to the ultimate test. Father Richards would soon be his mentor, as he was once mine. Fidget would be dealing with a lot of pain, all of it emotional.

Now I was getting tired. I had stayed up longer than my usual bedtime. I re-locked Fidget's cell door and rushed through the crack in the wall. The guard was still asleep! I slipped his key ring back and re-buckled his belt. He began to stir as I rushed to put my boots back on. I flew to the window I originally came in. I wasn't sure, but I think the guard spotted me just as I was within reach of the window (I could hear him mumbling in confusion). I was back in the outside world again. The rain had stopped, a full moon shone brightly. I left that night, knowing one thing for certain. Fidget and I would see each other again. And_ I_ will be waiting ...


End file.
